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Uptalk – What it is and why you’ll never want to do it!

Carol doesn’t understand why no one seems to take her ideas seriously at business meetings.

Sophie complains that every time she makes a suggestion in an executive meeting, the idea is discussed until finally a ‘guy’ says the same thing as her and is congratulated on his contribution.

Both women experience similar difficulties. They are not given credit for their ideas. One of the biggest causes of women not being taken seriously is the use of ‘Uptalk’ when speaking.

In English, the use of a question mark at the end of a sentence indicates that the sender is asking a question. Therefore, the speaker raises the inflection of ella at the end of the statement. It is this upward inflection, or cadence, that lets the receiver know that we are asking something; we are waiting for a response from them.

Uptalk happens when we inject that same up inflection at the end of our sentences, instead of down inflection, as we should when reading a period. This upward inflection takes our definitive statements and softens them, making them sound like we’re asking a question or seeking approval. The use of conversation is one of the most common elements that undermine women’s credibility with men at the boardroom table.

Consider the impact of uptalk on the following statements. I have inserted question marks between parentheses to indicate where the inflection rises and exclamation points to indicate where the inflection should fall. Practice saying this out loud to “hear” the impact the uptalk has.

With uptalk: Today is a good day (?)

No uptalk: it’s a nice day today (!)

In the first example, your inflection increases at the end of the statement, making you sound like you’re not sure if the day is, in fact, nice or not. It certainly makes you sound more hesitant and less confident. The second statement, however, clearly lets others know how you feel about the day. Although this is a simple example, the following is an excerpt from an introduction given by a woman at one of my training sessions. Try to follow the rising inflection indicated by the arrows above the sentences and read it aloud. Once again, I have inserted question marks to indicate where Susan’s inflection rose as she introduced herself.

Hello(?), my name is Susan(?). I am the Manager(?) of Information Services(?) of a large Telecommunications company(?)

In this example, you can see that the uptalk can occur much more frequently than just at the end of a sentence. Often people’s sentences are eloquently punctuated throughout, making for a stronger message. Susan’s use of her conversation made her seem very hesitant and unsure of herself. In fact, she looked like she should have pulled out a business card to verify that, in fact, her name was Susan, as well as her title and her employer! If this is the effect of using bluntness in simple, very direct, and very definitive statements, is it any wonder that women’s insights, when presented candidly, are often overlooked or ignored?

Women often develop eloquence early in life in an effort to ‘play nice’. Girls learn early to soften their commands and instructions to others by using eloquence. They sound less directed and controlling, less ‘bossy’ and therefore will still be allowed to participate in other girls’ play circles.

Young children, on the other hand, will give very direct commands during play, without alienating other children in the process. It seems that boys are more open to other boys showing leadership traits, without resentment or animosity arising, while girls take it as a personal affront when another girl tries to do so.

At a recent women in business networking event I attended, each woman was given two minutes to introduce herself and her business. I was flabbergasted listening to these women. Easily 75% of the women present spoke enthusiastically through their personal introductions. They sounded hesitant and ineffective!

If you find that your statements seem to lack credibility or conviction, that your ideas lack force, take the time to listen to yourself on the tape. Listen to the uptalk. Once you train your ear to identify it, you’ll be amazed at how easily you can begin to control it. However, you can’t change what you can’t identify, so get out that recorder and start recording! Many previous training participants have come back to us and told us that learning to listen and control their conversation was one of the biggest contributors to their continued success in business. As one participant shared: “I can’t believe that such a seemingly small item had such a big impact on how I was perceived. Once I started working on removing my bluntness, the change in others’ perception was almost instantaneous. What funny is that others knew something was different about me but i couldn’t tell what it was my boss kept asking who started the fire under me!