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The five levels of profound change in habits and behaviors

We develop patterns, which we call habits.

They are like being wrapped in warm blankets with soft pillows on a cold morning; comforting, supportive, relaxing. Who would willingly want to change that? Continuing the metaphor, it can feel like moving into a bed to sleep on a hard floor, with no air mattress, and the heater is not working.

Given that we are in a period of overwhelming, life-altering, life-altering, and stress-causing change, I thought it might help to understand why it is so difficult to get new habits to stick.

First of all, remind yourself that all change is due to fear, force, or pain.

Nobody wakes up thinking, “I love my life! Let me see how I can change it.” We change because we do not see another alternative and because the “old system” no longer cut it. Perhaps the times are different. Maybe we are different. But something has to adapt and, sadly, it is us. Being inspired to switch to “negative” feelings also automatically puts us at a disadvantage, since we don’t think clearly to begin with.

To that end, know that there are actually five levels that we must modify, each one deeper than the last if we are going to make our sleeping bag become a soft and fluffy bed.

The simplest and easiest setting is the environment; defined as that which “I see”.

Let’s say you have decided to be socially responsible and care for the greater good by wearing a mask. However, every time you leave the house, you forget your mask. An example of a change of environment could be relocating your mask on a hook next to the front door. Now, it will ask you to use it. Easy. Easy.

But it may not stay with you if you don’t change the next level: behaviors, what I “do.“If I don’t modify them, my environment will once again be unsatisfactory.

Continuing with our illustration, upon returning home, he removes his mask and puts it in the washing machine. That makes sense, but that behavior means that when you leave, Environment no longer prompts you to wear a mask. Consequently, a change in behavior needs to occur, such as getting a few masks and putting them all on the front door, as well as remembering to hang clean masks there when you’re done doing laundry. This alleviates the difficulty of “forgetting” to use one.

“But, I can’t keep remembering to put masks all over my house,” I might reply. Welcome to level three: Capabilities, what you “can” or “cannot” do.

You perceived – and that’s the keyword – Capabilities determine which behaviors will remain or disappear.

If your self-talk is “I don’t have time to do this” or “I have a lot more to do,” you will forgo new behaviors and get you back to where you started.

Capabilities are born from beliefs, level four. Beliefs, despite seeming to us facts, in reality are not.

They are feelings. They are not true for everyone, but they are true for us. Continuing our mask saga, if my belief is that “masks are unnecessary and a pain in the butt” (um, poor choice of body parts for masks, but you get my drift …), then you will consider it without importance and meaningless. to modify your capabilities to reinforce that you can indeed manage a couple of skins. As a result, new behaviors fade, the environment becomes unbearable, old habits return. If my Belief changes to “I feel it is important to wear a mask, no matter how uncomfortable it is,” the capabilities change, producing a positive ripple effect.

With only a few hundred words, I can’t really delve into the concept of Beliefs, as there are many extenuating conditions that affect them.

However, the Universal Truth that they have in common is that they are the result of the deepest level, Identity, those words that follow “I am …”

We have multiple Identities in which we adorn ourselves, depending on the conditions. For example, my Identity of “Romantic” is certainly welcome and appropriate when it is my wife, but it would be out of line with my coworker. Identities, like sets, fit the settings in which we find ourselves. To complete the tale of the mask, now too worn, if my Identity is “I am too busy to deal with this”, my Belief could be “This is ridiculous”; once again collapse the dominoes. Should I alter my Identity to “I am socially responsible and concerned about the spread of the virus”, then the Beliefs are corrected to “I feel it is important to find a way to do this”. My capabilities will now align that empowerment. Behaviors adapt. The environment adjusts. A new habit is locked in.

Whether it’s pandemics, weight loss, productivity, or personal relationships, the pattern remains the same.