Is your child the target of a sex offender? – Learn your ruse
Sex offenders come from all walks of life, ages, and from all socioeconomic levels. They can be male or female, rich or poor, employed or unemployed, religious, atheist or agnostic, doctor, lawyer, judge, police officer, educated or uneducated, and of any race.
o The perpetrator is known to the survivor in more than 85 percent of child sexual abuse crimes: parent, grandparent, uncle, aunt, cousin, sibling, friend, caregiver, coach, teacher, neighbor, or parent of a playmate /friend.
o Strangers can be “good guys” or “bad guys.” (including women) The people you or your children know may be “good guys” or “bad guys.” (including females).
o We do children a great disservice when we teach Stranger Danger and leave it at that. According to government statistics, less than 1% of all sexually abused children are abused by a stranger.
o Sixty-seven percent of adults convicted of felony sex crimes in fiscal year 1995 had no criminal records.
Many pedophiles seek out single parent mothers or uninvolved fathers in order to victimize their children. For example: An article in Sports Illustrated, September 3, 1999 issue, “Who’s Coaching Your Sons?” about coaches sexually abusing children on the team they coach. On Thursday, October 21, 1999, Dateline broadcast a segment about coaches who sexually abuse children. On Friday, November 5, 1999, 20/20 broadcast a case of sexual abuse in a small town involving a scout leader, who sexually abused several children for over a year. One coach in these cases stated that he looked for single-parent families or families in which the parents were frequently absent from practices or games. “These kids are starved for attention and I give them the attention they crave. I took them out for ice cream after a game or shopping. It’s amazing how rarely parents question my motives. If they do, I have an explanation made for them.” the measure, which never fails to quell their suspicions”.
Other examples: the schoolteacher, who often stays after school to help a child with academic difficulties; a parent taking time off work to accompany students on field trips; the grandfather who lavishes gifts when he takes the child on a fun ride, the neighbor who seems genuinely interested in his child.
I am not suggesting that everyone who reaches out to children is a sex offender. However, insidiously, perpetrators demonstrate correct, moral, and exemplary behavior to build credibility and establish proof of their love for children; these actions thus frustrate any suspicion of wrongdoing.
Montel Williams on his show on November 11, 1999 exclaimed in exasperation “Why can’t we do something about it?” while he discovered the details of a ten-year-old pregnant girl, who had been raped several times by the eighteen-year-old son of her mother’s boyfriend. Although this story may seem unusual and/or fodder for a Montel Williams dramatic show, it is sadly all too common.
Cleanliness
Most sex offenders “groom” their victims in advance of any sexual abuse over a period of months or even years. After gaining the trust of the parents, the offender offers to babysit the child or provide fun activities. During this time, she proceeds to groom the boy. The perpetrator is aware that the child must be controlled to the extent that she can sexually abuse the child without fear of disclosure to another adult. This manipulation can be obtained in many ways: favors, threats, blame, etc.
A mother revealed that her husband played a tickling game with their three-year-old son. The rules of the game were such that it was fun: the son was instructed to tickle his father’s nipples while she straddled his father’s naked body from the waist up. The object of this game was ‘Make Daddy laugh’. Of course, the father could hold back his laughter until he experienced the sexual stimulation he desired. When the mother objected to this game, her father admonished her for being jealous of the time he spent with her son.
Another mother was horrified when her three-year-old daughter asked her to play the game of ‘pee-pee’. She asked her daughter to explain this game to her. Her daughter lay on her back on the floor, spread-eagled, and said, “Touch my ‘pee-pee,’ ‘Mommy, that’s what Daddy does.’
Why the Sex Offender ruse works most of the time…
Sex offenders count on society’s misconceptions regarding their well-perfected ruse.
As a society, we vehemently condemn queer child sex offenders, but when someone we know is suspected or accused, many people take sides, often refusing to believe that “a pillar of the community” could commit this type of crime. The real flirtatious type pedophile is extremely good at what he does. He places himself in a position in his family or community where he has easy access to the children. He will often work hard (sometimes for years) to earn the trust of family or community members. If a child makes an accusation against this person, it is often too emotionally difficult for families who love and trust this family member or who trusted and allowed the accused into their home to believe that they could commit such an act against a child. child. Michael Jackson is a prime example of society’s refusal to acknowledge his misjudgment. The betrayal is too great, and many families will not only deny the possibility, but blame and smear the child making the accusation. This is what the criminal counts on. Families deceived by cunning predators could not have imagined the degree of betrayal possible and the lengths to which a predator would go to abuse a child.
Appropriate suspicion is the answer. See my article, Protect Your Child From Sex Offenders: Practice Appropriate Suspicion
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