How to build and unearth your self-confidence
Do you consider yourself one of those unfortunate creatures of God who are simply not worthy of being loved, praised or appreciated? If so, then there is a good chance that you are also very insecure as a person, although you must be doing a good job of hiding it. What you need to realize at this point is that no matter how hard you try to hide your true feelings, they find a way to manifest in the form of low self-esteem.
How you feel about yourself and how you judge your worth is described as self-esteem. In this sense, individuals who feel bad or inferior to others are those who suffer from low self-esteem. Having low self-esteem isn’t about being quirky, it’s about recognizing that there is, in fact, a real problem that needs to be resolved before it sabotages every other aspect of life, the most important of which is happiness.
Typical symptoms of low self-esteem
The following are some behavioral traits that are characteristic of people suffering from low self-esteem:
Extremely sensitive to criticism. – Unlike most people who take criticism in stride, a person with low self-esteem is unduly sensitive to criticism. Psychologists attribute this to the insecure mindset that is characteristic of a person where they tend to closely observe other people’s reactions and often jump to a negative conclusion.
In the event that you are a person with low self-esteem, most of the time you would feel that others are justified in treating you badly.
socially isolated – People with low self-esteem tend to remain socially isolated, either staying away from a roommate or spending time on the phone despite being part of a large gathering. Even if someone tries to approach that person and strike up a conversation, the attempt is futile as all that is happening is passing on insecurities in an attempt to feel superior.
Attributing it all to luck – A typical characteristic of low self-esteem is ignoring hard-earned success and attributing it to a blessing or just plain dumb luck. The sign of healthy self-esteem is embracing success and returning the compliment with a simple “thank you.” On the other hand, one that is indicative of low self-esteem echoes the sentiment that everything good that happened was because of someone else or could have been so much better.
appearance policy – Voluntarily withdrawing from a discussion or asking people for forgiveness, regardless of whether they deserve it or not, is a reflection of low self-esteem. This is because a person with low self-esteem is afraid to express her true feelings or opinions for fear of being laughed at or rejected. Appeasement seems to be the best option to avoid a conflict or an argument.
Tiredness and insomnia – Feeling tired or spending too much time in bed without falling asleep reflects an escapist mentality which in turn stems from low self-esteem. Sagging shoulders are also indicative of the fact that you do not consider yourself worthy enough.
How to deal with low self-esteem
There are several factors that contribute to low self-esteem ranging from neglectful or uninvolved parents to having a critical peer group, physical or mental trauma, negative thought patterns, and unrealistic expectations. Having said that, it is equally important to keep in mind that self-esteem can be treated, that is, it is something that can be changed, since, after all, it is a state of mind.
Raising self-esteem can take a lot of time and practice, but as long as you’re determined enough to challenge your own thinking and push it toward change, there’s nothing that can stop you. Practicing self-esteem exercises and attending self-esteem workshops are some recommendations that could speed up the process, but ultimately the choice is yours. And when you choose to change the way you think, you not only gain healthy self-esteem but also a world of positivity.
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