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Federal prison "A day at the Fed Club"

I was making a fresh cup of coffee in the kitchen when I heard a story on CNN about our prison population exploding. This brought back memories of when I worked for the federal prison system in years past. I did an internet search and found that, as of last year, 1 in 136 people is behind bars. The search also revealed that the population is increasing at a rate of 1,000 per week across the country. The total prison population in 2005 was 2.2 million.

In early 1992, he was working for the United States Navy as a civilian “Technical Representative” living in the Norfolk, Virginia area. During that same time period, my father-in-law was diagnosed with terminal cancer in the Midwest. Because of this, I decided to relocate back to the Midwest by taking a new federal job at the DOJ (Department of Justice).

I worked for the FBOP (Federal Bureau of Prisons) from 1992 to 2001. Before this job, I envisioned the prison as a place where inmates wore striped jackets and turned large rocks into smaller stones. My point of view was similar to that portrayed in the George Clooney movie, “Oh bro, where are you?” Until 1992, I never knew of anyone who actually worked inside a prison.

Now, fast forward to 1999 with about seven years of work for the federal prison system. While supervising a small group of inmates working inside an inmate housing unit, I noticed a piece of paper on the bulletin board that had a list of items available in the inmate store. The inmate team I worked with knew me well and enjoyed working with me on various jobs. I turned to one of the team members and said, “It says here you can buy Chucky Monkey Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream.” I smiled and said, “God help you guys, if Mike Wallace from the 60 minute show finds out about this.” The inmate laughed and continued his work.

Our conversation was overheard by another inmate who was not part of our team. He approached me casually and said, “I am offended by your statement, as we earn those things on the list. We pay for them with our own money.” I turned around and realized that this person was very well groomed for being a prisoner. Unlike the workers on my crew who had tattoos and worn faces, this unknown inmate seemed out of place. His clothes had been ironed, his face pale, his shoes polished, and well groomed. At first glance, he was what we call a typical “white collar” criminal who spent years of pampered life abroad.

When I turned to answer this unknown inmate, I noticed that one of my fellow inmates was smiling at me since he knew what was about to happen. I looked at the prisoner directly and spoke in a calm voice and made the following statements.

1. The items in the list are not basic items at all. You can buy ten flavors of expensive Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. I also see that you can also buy a lot of other wacky things.
2. I notice you are wearing a long sleeved shirt, but it’s 95F outside and high humidity. Maybe that’s because the air conditioner keeps your living unit at around 70 ° F indoors. I also noticed last winter that this same housing unit temperature was set to around 80F. I can’t afford to keep the heating and cooling temperatures in my own home as comfortable as yours, and neither can most people in the United States.
3. I notice you have cable TV with HBO in your living unit. I have cable TV, but we decided not to have HBO due to the cost.
4. I notice that you have freshly baked bread made every day, fresh milk, coffee, soda, butter, salad, fruits and vegetables every day.
5. I notice that you have free medical and dental services and we even take the prisoners to the local hospital for medical services that we cannot provide you within the prison.
6. I realize it has pool tables, craft rooms, and some weight room equipment that are some of the best. I also notice that your gym has wall-to-wall carpeting on the floor for your comfort.
7. I realize that your library is well stocked with an excellent collection of law books, novels, and magazines for your personal use.
8. I notice that you have an educational department that allows you to attend college and GED courses at no cost.
9. I notice that you have many things that do not cost you a penny. Tax money pays for many of the things you take for granted. My point is that the public is largely unaware of what is inside this federal prison. My point is, audiences would be surprised if they found out you have access to Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream. I don’t care if you pay for it or not. That is my point.

At that moment, the inmate turned without saying a word to me and walked away. One of my inmates lit a cigarette and told me: “You are a bad boss, but you are right.” After we finished our work on the housing unit, the inmate I had spoken to earlier approached me again. He told me that he thought about what I said and now he agreed with me. He apologized and told me to have a nice day.

In conclusion, I don’t want anyone to think that being in federal prison is a good place to be. Losing the freedom to travel or do whatever you like in life is bad enough. I only spent nine years working for the FBOP and it was an interesting part of my life and a revelation as to the reality of life on the inside. I hope you find the article interesting and pass it on to your friends.