domestic violence "tiffany style" – 5 challenges of battered wealthy women
Many people think that it is easier to deal with domestic violence when you are rich. But the fact is that the wealthy have a whole host of problems unique to their high socioeconomic status that make dealing with domestic abuse even more difficult.
What is it like for the battered rich woman?
1) Disbelief
As they break their silence, a roar erupts, pushing them back into hiding. People doubt that they are actually abused. “How can it be?” hear, “Your husband is a pillar in the community.”
It can be a doctor, a lawyer, a politician, the very clergy of your community… If you serve in these positions of care/healing/protection, how the hell can you be an abuser? This dichotomy confuses outsiders watching wealthy domestic abuse.
Besides, it even confused Google. Try doing a Google search on domestic violence and wealth or money or wealth. These words connoting high socioeconomic status cannot be found in combination with the term “domestic violence” (at least not at the time of this writing).
2) no empathy
People withhold empathy for the circumstances of battered wealthy women. “You go on exotic vacations, you live in a nice house, you choose the best of the season…”
The implication here is that you should “flip the bill” with respect to getting slapped and enjoying your wealth. He says that lifestyle is the “price” for putting up with abuse.
3) False claims and revictimization
When battered wealthy women turn to social services for help, the potential for abuse they endure increases exponentially. It may get buried in the play-offs sponsored by the payments of its manipulative and abusive partners.
Abusers are known for their ability to manipulate health care providers and law enforcement to make false claims about their victims. It is her way of discrediting the domestic violence survivor and ultimately saving face by getting rid of any responsibility for alleged or documented domestic abuse.
4) Empty Lawful War Chest
When they go to divorce court, all hell can break loose. They can be buried in pleadings upon pleadings characteristic of legal stalking in high-profile divorce cases.
Often these battered women appear in pro se’ family court and represent themselves against their battering partner’s team of legal counsel. They may even have a list of divorce lawyers at their doorstep once the payment can’t come through.
You see, most of the so-called battered rich women have no control over the family money. So when the manhunt begins to break the cycle of abuse, the financial spigot is turned off. And they remain at the mercy of their partner’s financial war chest: the resources that define their luxury status in the first place.
Then when they try to take advantage of the same resources available to their less “financially empowered” counterparts, it doesn’t get any better. Unfortunately, “wealthy” battered women who approach the public system for legal assistance may be told, “We can’t help you because your legal assistance needs will exceed our entire annual budget.”
5) heinous crimes
Unfortunately, these are the domestic violence divorce cases in which battered mothers may lose contact with their minor children or have token contact through supervised visitation. These are the survivors of domestic violence who fall through the cracks of the legal system and are left childless, homeless, and penniless.
These are the brave women who thought they had it easier, like everyone else, because of their wealth. And then, they recognize that their challenges to break free may ultimately leave them victimized again by their partner’s use of family money.
If you are a battered wealthy woman, keep in mind the challenges that lie ahead. And be prepared to deal with each and every one of them as you campaign to break the cycle of domestic abuse.
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