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Do we need to make more efforts to keep the romance alive?

Some of us go out to dinner on Valentine’s Day at the instigation of a friend who is in a long-distance relationship. They have been together for several years but at the moment, due to work commitments, they can only see each other on weekends.

I wondered if they would rather make the most of the more intimate dinner together on Valentine’s Day, rather than with us as a group. But he replied: ‘no, it’s fine, we’ve been together for years, we’re at the no cards, no flowers, no gifts stage in our relationship.’

This led me to reflect later on whether we need to put more effort into our lasting relationships. While it’s nice to be comfortably ensconced and not have to constantly try to impress your partner, surely it’s the little things, often not particularly necessary, that help keep the romance alive in our relationships.

Those little touches keep the flames flickering and sustain us through the mundane and routine moments of everyday life. We may not ‘need’ that card or bouquet of flowers, but it can certainly make us smile by being regarded with affection.

What are some ways to keep the romance alive?

– Do not neglect the basics. Take care of yourself physically. Stay on top of your hygiene, take responsibility for your health, for looking elegant, for your appearance. It’s great to kick off your shoes and change into casual clothes after a stressful day, but it’s not good looks to do it automatically every day. There are times when looking good is important to both you and your partner, and you’ll feel more attractive and confident when you make the effort.

Don’t be that partner who gets carried away. Yes, we all change physically over the years, but exercise, dental checkups, and a healthy lifestyle are our choices to help us take the best possible care of ourselves.

– Stay interesting. Instead of flopping into a chair in front of the TV every night, why not suggest an occasional walk, a nice outing, or an interesting hobby? ‘School nights’ can be hectic and exhausting, but so is repeating the same old routine every day. Be up to date with current affairs, willing and interested in knowing the news of others. A little planning and effort can help keep the romance alive.

– Simple passwords are important. Perhaps offer to babysit so your partner can have an afternoon off to shop, play golf, or have a quiet afternoon. Do tasks without being asked or, worse yet, repeatedly reminded. It makes life so much easier and less stressful for everyone and allows both of you to feel involved in all areas of the relationship.

– Why not send a text message? with a simple “thinking of you” message. Wanting nothing more to say, ‘I love you’. Or run them a bath when they get home from a busy day at work or with the kids, or offer them a back or foot massage.

– Keep the romance alive. you don’t need to spend money. Giving a framed photo of ‘our’ favorite place, a compilation of ‘our’ songs, a pressed leaf or a champagne cork from a special date can be beautiful, much appreciated gestures that show love and care for those important memories. Thoughtful and romantic gestures are often more appreciated than any expensive gift from a department store.

– Many of us have several sets of relationships. that they need juggling that can sometimes cause us stress. Work, family, friends can sometimes be demanding and require additional input. Being romantic is also about being insightful and considerate. Occasionally suggesting something that would relieve our partner’s stress levels, such as visiting their family or taking them out to dinner, could be seen as romantic. Or being kind enough to accompany them to an event or social occasion that is important to them can mean a lot.

Come to think of it, keeping romance alive isn’t just about red roses and chocolates. Often making the effort with sensitive gestures and actions can be proof enough that we care, and that can be enough to keep the romance alive in our relationship.