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Are you wavering in wisdom?

“I should have talked,” Gil said as he took another bite of his burger. He and his wife, Pat, loved going to their favorite burger joint on Wednesday nights for their two-for-one burger specials. Gil told Pat how he had sat down in a three-hour meeting in which his work team was faced with a nasty problem. Gil had an idea an hour after the meeting, but he never spoke. Another person came up with the same idea two hours later, which was supported not only by Gil’s boss but also by the other members of the team.

“This is not the first time,” said Pat. She and Gil had been married for ten years and she knew him inside and out. She knew not only his strengths, but also his weaknesses.

“I know, I just don’t like to monopolize a meeting,” Gil said.

“I think you have a long way to go before that happens,” Pat said as he popped a potato chip into his mouth.

“What do you mean?”

“Gil, you are one of the smartest men I know. When you speak, you usually say something very deep and thoughtful. The problem is not talking too much, it is talking too little.”

Gil sat there for a moment, thinking about what Pat had just said. Pat wiped her mouth on her napkin and continued.

“I went to a class today about something called a steward of wisdom. In class, the instructor talked about six different characters; one of them was a wavering wisdom. As soon as the instructor described the wavering character, I thought of you.”

“A wavering one of wisdom?”

“That’s right. Now how about we split a tiramisu?”

“Um, sure,” Gil said. The server approached the table.

“What is a wavering of wisdom?” Gil thought to himself as Pat ordered his dessert.

To understand a wavering man of wisdom, we must first understand a steward of wisdom. A steward of wisdom has a balance in the way he seeks and shares wisdom. They humbly and genuinely seek wisdom to help them make sensible decisions. At the same time, a steward of wisdom transparently and honestly shares wisdom with others to help them make sensible decisions. The roles of seeker and participant are equally respected and practiced by the wise steward with the goal of embracing success for both themselves and others.

Now let’s move on to the wavering of wisdom. The wavering of wisdom may be concerned about success, but is afraid to express himself for fear of what others might think about him and his ideas. In team meetings, the hesitant is often the one who remains quiet and needs to be specifically asked for his opinion. However, my experience with indecisive is that they can be incredibly perceptive and bring valuable perspective to a discussion. I have been involved in many meetings where the hesitant, after prompted, provided a point of view that had not been previously expressed and changed the trajectory of a conversation. Generally, you need a leader who is sensitive to doubts and draws them into discussion. Unfortunately, many great ideas never see the light of day because the hesitant is unwilling to express his point of view. When a waver doesn’t share his wisdom and something bad happens as a result, everyone loses.

Are you hesitant of wisdom? Ask yourself these questions:

• Are you waiting to hear other people’s ideas before sharing yours?

• You don’t say anything because you already agree with what someone else said?

• Are you afraid of not expressing your idea in the best way?

• Are you waiting, thinking that you will talk to someone one on one about it later?

• Do you prefer to express your opinion in writing at a later date?

• Do you base your opinions on the opinions of others?

• Do you hope to hear from others before deciding what you think?

• Do you think people won’t listen to you anyway?

• Are you feeling rushed, do you need more time to think about how to share your ideas?

Those who doubt wisdom can genuinely seek wisdom, but they need to feel that it is a safe environment before sharing. If this is you, take small steps to share wisdom more deliberately. It may be awkward at first, but your ideas deserve to be heard and can make a difference.

Do you want to see more? Take a look at Behind Gold Doors.