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A lot of people don’t really want to heal

Let’s be honest. Most people don’t really want to heal. What they want is less pain and suffering.

What most people want is the “magic bullet,” the microwave approach to relieving their pain, their discomfort, their frustration, at work, at home, at play, in their relationships.

The truth is that while most people say they want to be cured, intellectually and emotionally, their solution is the quick fix: the pill, chemical or non-chemical (e.g. food, alcohol, television, sex, surgery…) quick fix to mask your discomfort and treat your symptoms.

Your drive for healing exists with the pain; but the real choice to act to heal is non-existent. Once the discomfort is gone, the movement is back to “normal,” not toward healing.

For most people, true healing is frightening and threatening. Why?

On the one hand, true healing requires us to ask ourselves two questions:

1. How am I contributing to my own discomfort? How am I responsible for the situation (mental, emotional, spiritual, psychological, social, financial, health, relationship…) situation in which I find myself? Which of my thoughts, beliefs, preconceptions, values, assumptions, choices, and actions are responsible for the imbalance, disharmony, and unhappiness I am experiencing in my life?

2. Am I willing to make the necessary changes and take action to reduce and eliminate the imbalance, disharmony, and unhappiness that I am experiencing in my life at work, at home, at play, or in my relationship?

Simple, but not easy, which is why so many people often think of change (simple) and rarely take positive, sustainable steps (not easy) to bring about true, real change.

So what is the real problem with healing? What stands in the way of most people’s will to change is the ego.

The ego is necessary. The ego supports us to interact with living our life on the planet. The ego is our personality, our individuality. It’s like a “suit” that we put on in the morning that helps me “be me” when I go out into the world. The ego helps us to pretend that we are individuals and the ego helps us to remember where we left our wallet and what time the team meeting is.

Unfortunately, our ego also feels that its job is to keep us safe and protect us from harm, and in doing so, the glasses the ego wears often see the world as frightening and hurtful, which is why we spend much of our lives defending ourselves from harm. the rest. judging, being critical, defensive, resentful, jealous, and resistant to others in some way, shape, or form, all in an effort to avoid pain and suffering. Fear comes from the ego.

Our ego defines our thoughts, beliefs, assumptions, preconceived ideas. Just consider how many of our thoughts are “healing or love” thoughts and how many are “killing, i.e. fear-based, judicious, negative” thoughts. The latter, most likely, for most people.

Our ego’s job is to feel safe and secure, so when it comes to changing our beliefs, thoughts, preconceptions, assumptions, etc. (of the ego). about our life and living in the world, our ego freaks out, freaks out and subtly and insidiously tries to ensure that we continue to think, believe and behave exactly as we have in the past. Change hurts us, according to our ego, and it wants us to feel that it is acting on our behalf, to keep us safe, “not acting”, that is, not changing.

Our ego believes that even our most painful and limiting beliefs are necessary, because the small amount of pain we experience actually protects us from much greater pain: death in some way, shape or form.

Often when we consider true and real change, we begin to feel that there is something “wrong” or “wrong” with our current thoughts or beliefs. This fires up our ego and we spend a great deal of time punishing ourselves for thinking that we are, in fact, bad or wrong because of what we have been thinking or believing.

The deal with true and real change is to allow our beliefs, our thoughts, whatever they are, simply observing them, allowing them and not judging them. This action quiets the ego and our Inner Judge and Critic who wants us to feel small, invisible, scared, wrong and bad.

When our ego feels that there is nothing wrong with our thoughts or beliefs, we feel the freedom and opportunity to introduce new thoughts and beliefs, and with these new thoughts and beliefs, we create the ability to make new decisions and take new actions.

The point to understand is that we created most of our limiting and painful beliefs that we have about ourselves and the world in childhood, using the resources that we had at the time, so that we could feel safe and get the love, care and attention of mom and dad. approval, recognition and acknowledgment.

Our beliefs worked then. Now they don’t work as well. Therefore, they need to be updated.

The bottom line is that we can change our words, our thoughts, and our beliefs. In fact, we can change our lives at work, at home, at play, and in relationships by creating new, supportive thoughts and beliefs by choosing to do so. So if you really want to heal, that choice is yours. What better time than now?

So, some questions for self-reflection are:

What stories do you tell yourself that are keeping you from making true, real change in your career, home, game, or relationship areas of your life? What beliefs or blocks prevent you from experiencing changes in your life? Do you remember any of these beliefs or blocks from when you were young?

Do you ever follow your intuition, your “intuition”? Do you trust your intuition?

Do you constantly hit yourself? Why? Would you allow your friends and colleagues to talk to you the way your Inner Judge and Critic talk to you? Do you constantly judge yourself as “bad,” “wrong,” or “not good enough” in some way? Why? Really why?

The average person has “16,000” thoughts a day. Would you characterize most of yours as “healing” (love-based) or “killing” (fear-based)?

Have you ever observed your thoughts without getting caught up in them, or in a “story”? How is that?

What one or two debilitating or limiting beliefs would you like to update right now? You can do it? You want?

What one or two small steps can you take this week or next to make changes in your life by creating new thoughts and beliefs about yourself and then taking action?

What beliefs do you have about: career, teamwork, meaningful work, money, health, men, women, relationships, appearance, fun, chores, children, personal or spiritual growth, marriage, clothes, hair, pets, etc. ? Do these beliefs bring you true and real happiness (be honest) or pain and suffering (be equally honest)? If the latter, why do you continue to hold these beliefs and allow them to rule your life? If it is the latter, how can you heal yourself?