Internet addiction and divorce
Internet addiction, pornography and divorce
As a divorce lawyer, I see more and more cases where Internet addiction, particularly addiction to online pornography, plays a role in divorce, is a factor in custody decisions, and can even be an issue in the divorce. division of marital property. In one case, a parent’s excessive use of the Internet and consequent neglect of her child played a significant role in the eventual custody decision.
Online pornography has been called the “silent family killer.” Adultery is now just a click away. In 2004, Dr. Manning testified before the US Congress that 56% of divorces involved obsessive addiction to Internet pornography by one spouse. In a survey of members of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, 60% of lawyers thought Internet pornography was linked to higher divorce rates. The American Psychiatric Association has recognized Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD) as a legitimate health problem. DIA is also being considered for admission as a mental disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders DSM-V.
Like other addictions, Internet addiction can poison an addict’s social, work, and family relationships. I’ve heard spouses refer to themselves as “cyber widows.” Excessive time online often results in neglect of family, friends, social activities, and interests. Children especially can fall victim to parental addiction online. Young children are harmed if they are inadvertently exposed to Internet pornography. Experts consider that the average age is first exposed to Internet pornography at nine years old. Children can feel a sense of abandonment and neglect from parents’ excessive use of the Internet, and in the worst case, they can even be abused if parents get angry when they are interrupted. Extreme cases have been reported where Internet addiction has even led to the death of children. For example, a Florida mother killed her 3-month-old baby for repeatedly crying and interrupting her game “Farmville.” A Korean couple has been tried for murder when they starved their baby while raising a virtual baby online.
The first thing your divorce attorney should do if you suspect a parent is addicted to the Internet is to find out if the children have been exposed to any harmful or sexually explicit material and how much time that parent spends on the Internet. Has the parent taken any safety precautions to avoid exposure to sexually explicit material on the Internet? It is possible to cite Internet sites to determine how much time a parent spends on a particular site. A father who plays World of Warcraft all day is in no position to argue that he is providing proper supervision and care for his children. It might even be possible to get a warrant to search the parent’s computer. Court-appointed custody evaluators often ask to see the parents’ computers during home visits. In a reported case in Connecticut, the court ordered a couple to exchange their passwords for Facebook and other dating websites as part of the discovery process.
But before you go paging through your spouse’s computer, a word of caution. Most states have strict privacy laws. Anyone going through a divorce is advised to trust their lawyer to uncover incriminating evidence and should not take matters into their own hands. In a California case, the Court of Appeals found that an ex-husband snooping through her ex-wife’s email account during a bitter custody dispute could be “abuse” and grounds for a restraining order for domestic violence. In one Cincinnati case, the husband was forced to apologize to his wife on his Facebook page or face jail time.
Another aspect of Internet addiction that might surprise divorcees is how it can affect property division. It was news to me that online creations like avatars, weapons, and imaginary worlds can be valuable marital assets. A virtual space station on Planet Calypso has reportedly sold for $330,000. The owners of the “Second Life” computer game valued user-to-user transactions at $567 million in 2009 and a Chinese woman, Ailin Graef, allegedly acquired $1 million worth of virtual real estate. On the other hand, if her spouse is not the virtual mogul and has wasted thousands of dollars on online gaming, she may be able to claim a refund on the grounds that she deliberately misappropriated marital funds.
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