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Calling Cthulhu, a silly horror story

“Wow man! Cool colors!”

“Yes, well, I had to prepare the temple.”

“How did your parents react when you painted your room like this?”

“Dad was baffled. Mom was happy, of course, that the walls and ceiling weren’t black anymore. She thinks I’m in love and ocean green is the color of my love. Or that my girlfriend has green eyes or that she loves me.” love green. Something like that.”

“But you do not have a girlfriend”.

“Yes, Tom, I know, but Mom doesn’t. She only thinks what she wants to think.”

“Mom. I bet she keeps asking to meet her. To ask her out to dinner or something,” Harry laughed.

“Yes. Have you brought the candles?”

“Sure. Seven of them, our lucky number. I searched half a town to find the right color.”

“The search will be worth it if we are successful. Deliver them here.”

“Umm, are you sure this will work? I mean, we don’t know of any real spells,” Tom asked hesitantly.

“Of course I’m not sure. But I talked to this witch girl, you know, Wicca? I asked her if she knew of any spells that might work. She told me she wasn’t really interested in summoning and stuff, but I should make up my own spells.” Anyway. That’s how it works, you have to figure out what works best for you.”

“Tom, you already explained it to us. Even if she was interested and knew some cool spells that worked well for her, they might not work for us. Like we’re trying to wear her clothes.”

“Ugh! I’d rather die!”

Harry smiled to himself as he looked at the three dressed in green robes. The ocean-scented bath oil, which he had stolen from his sister, made the room smell very good. Sure he hoped this would work, it would be great fun to rule the world.

“Okay, everything is ready. Have you memorized the words?”

“Safe.”

“Yes. Are you sure your parents aren’t coming soon?”

“Of course I’m sure. They won’t be home until morning. Don’t worry, no one will interrupt us. Oh, and guys, please remember, we’re learning by trial and error. If this doesn’t work, we’ll try to find something that does.” .

“Oh no.”

“Shut up, Tom. We’ll investigate further. Until we succeed. If it was really easy to summon Cthulhu, everyone would be doing it, right? We’re only sixteen, none of us will die of old age tomorrow, so we’ve got plenty of time. Come on in.” Whatever happens, we don’t give up.

“Safe.”

“Yes, we are not sissies to give in to.”

“All right, let’s get started then. Harry, give the signal.”

Harry waved his hand and the boys began to sing.

“Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn”.

“Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn”.

“Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn”.

“Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn”.

Their voices kept rising until it hurt, but the boys never stopped, they just sang faster and faster.

Something moved. The flames flickered. The boys paused for a moment, exchanged meaningful glances, and continued singing.

“Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn”.

“Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn”.

The flames went out, but not the light in the room. There was no obvious source of light. The walls seem to emanate a sickly green light, but that wasn’t possible, was it? The summoners exchanged puzzled glances and continued to sing.

“Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn”.

Something began to appear in the middle of the room. Something huge. The room was large, but no room built by human hands could be large enough for that.

Still singing, the boys got to their feet and headed for the window. Harry opened it, his eyes still on the thing that was materializing in his friend’s room. Good thing the room was on the ground floor, not the fifth floor.

Tom got out first, then the others. Singing no longer seemed necessary. The boys watched in amazement as the creature materialized, smashing through the walls and finally the house. The creature as big as a mountain. The flabby claws. At the top, a hideous squid head with writhing tentacles. With a trembling voice, the first boy spoke:

“We have summoned you, oh mighty Cthulhu.”

It seemed impossible that the thing could hear such a faint voice, but somehow it did. Or she looked at them for some other reason; the boys would never know. He leaned down and reached for them, carefully scooping them up with one clawed hand.

“We made it,” the first boy whispered. Now we are the masters of him.

“Then we can order him to take us down, right?” Tom whispered back.

“Relax, he probably just wants to hear us better,” Harry replied, though he wasn’t sure about that. God, it was so big!

Cthulhu swallowed them in one gulp and headed out into the night.

This story appears on Art-Anima, a website that promotes science fiction, horror, and all genres of fantasy literature.