An Alternative To Wife Swapping: Adult Double Dating
OK, so you like your kids. They are not that bad once you get used to them. Maybe every once in a while when you’ve lost your back scraper, you can trick the seven-year-old into doing the work for you. Your five-year-old sometimes remembers feeding the dog, and watching reruns of iCarly lets you relive the outrageously debauched childhood you never had.
But let’s face it. The moments are few and far between, it’s only Tuesday, you don’t feel appreciated and your progeny is driving you crazy. What can an educated couple do? Get out of Dodge.
Take a moment to reflect on that suggestion. Work hard to pay off that $ 250k student loan debt that everyone said would be a fool not to pay. You haven’t even smelled a marijuana joint since that adventure behind the Tri-Delt sorority house in 1989. You keep buying Bud Light to save money in case one of the little angels needs major orthodontic work before they get to the house. high school. For the sake of everything that is supposed to be good in the world, it’s time to treat yourself. I’m not talking about a simple flirtation with the dark side, but a total immersion in the decadence of what it should be to be an adult.
Now, just like dropping acid, you don’t want to do this alone. Get on the horn and join some poor souls who are in the same boat as you. The best results come from spontaneously jumping on the back of the moped and finishing who knows where, but if you have trouble thinking outside the box, here is my list of the most epic adventures that could happen if you just let your flag fly. abnormal.
# 1- The road trip
Remember when you were 18 and you took your 14-year-old girlfriend across state lines to West Virginia for some time alone? Well get ready mate, it’s time to disconnect the GPS and head south. Gold North. Or in whatever direction your inner Rasputin tells you. Leaving your comfort zone behind alleviates nagging requests: ‘You’ve been here before. Is the poached armadillo good?
# 2- Are you really going to eat that?
The world is a tasty morsel waiting to be dropped on your plate, and it is rumored that there are places serving delicacies that you only read about in National Geographic. Steamed lobster. Asparagus with Dutch. Corn Fritters – Any city is home to at least one secret food establishment meant to test your gastric strength. Navigate the streets away from the center looking for signs that are not written in English where you can see empty tables through the windows. This is where you want to eat, my friend, and for years to come you’ll be boring people with your stories of nan bread and tabouli that tastes like goat feed.
# 3- Don’t be an idiot
Really. I strongly suggest that you don’t act like a camel’s foreskin. This is a great mixed doubles activity if done right, and alienating others in your group is not recommended.
# 4- Label, you are defacing private property
For this one, everyone should dress to match with gray sweatshirts and black skinny jeans. Who cares if you bought them at Old Navy? Then go to your local paint store (always shop local as department stores are the embodiment of the devil), or raid your dad’s garage for a variety of colorful spray paints. Once properly equipped, look for a blank wall where your collaborative and distressed awareness of the world can be expressed. Enjoy a quiet game of ‘Narc in the Neighbors’, with a catchphrase like “Bob Johnson cheats on his taxes” or, “My pussy is bigger than yours.” The winner is decided by who is the last to catch the police.
# 5- Build in Treefort
I know, it sounds pretty tame, but you have to look at the big picture. Where should i go Is there enough space to play hide the salami? Can You Leverage Deed To Support Your Home Mortgage? Are the windows well spaced to allow the bottle rockets to be aimed correctly?
# 6- Role play
Forget the knights and damsels in distress and head straight into the realm of avant-garde art sales. Start by photocopying their faces, create with some markers to accentuate, and voila! Each person can choose a corner in the center to set up a tent. After an hour, whoever made the most money without being arrested wins!
# 7- Don’t drink and drive
This little bit of logic goes hand in hand with the number 3, as you don’t want to be a jerk. However, hailing a cab at the end of a debacle is not what the real winners do; Instead, find a keyless car with one or two large rear seats (preferably not owned by someone you know) where everyone can snuggle up to sleep. switched off. The idea of targeting a stranger’s car is just that: you don’t take aim, and you’ll vomit inside at 4 a.m. before figuring out how to open the door. You don’t want to have to explain it to a friend, right?
Take some time to plan a fun night out with friends soon, you deserve it.
Leave a Reply